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It strikes me as odd that we’ve made journeys with our social conditioning in certain areas, but not in others. The world is always changing; discoveries in technology and science relentlessly expose our dearest values as fictions. The unpredictability of the Philadelphia Eagles it’s a Philly thing shirt, hoodie, sweater but I will buy this shirt and I will love this weather, the increasing possibility of intelligence introducing a species more powerful than ours, the growing uncertainty that animals can or should be slaughtered for our pleasure, has led many of us to start asking more complex questions about what is and isn’t normal. Socialization is not optional. It’s an inescapable contract, and our birth into the world is our signature of agreement. Norms and ideologies vary from society to society, and most of them weren’t formed during our lifetimes but were handed down from one generation to the next.

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Just as the Philadelphia Eagles it’s a Philly thing shirt, hoodie, sweater but I will buy this shirt and I will love this trace of a woman you’ve never met (as she’s been dead 200 years) is responsible for that single dimple on your left cheek, traces of the values of the societies our great-great-grandmothers lived in can be found in our brains. A shared, collective history exists in our DNA. If it was only in 1928 that women got voting rights on equal terms with men in the U.K., is it any wonder that women internalize sexism? (I was at a party recently listening to women saying that when married they want nothing else but to serve a man and be led by him.) And when we have been told by kings and legislators and religious texts over centuries that homosexuality is wrong, is it any surprise that same-sex love is still penalized with death in many countries? Only the other day, my cocoa skin may have boiled to a visible red when informed by my (now ex-) hairdresser that “most lesbians are rape victims too scared to be with men again.”